onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
