I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
