Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
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When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
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He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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