I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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