those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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