if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize