You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
