sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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