someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
