Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
