3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize