I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
