You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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