Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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