Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
