Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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