I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
