Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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