ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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