I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
