Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
