I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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