Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
