My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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