You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
