She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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