Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
