Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
