he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
