Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
