why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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