We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
