so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
The ass gains better be worth it
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
