glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
