No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
