we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
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watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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