I want to walk on stilts...naked
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
