plz talk dirty to me
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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