VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It's Friday. Sex?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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