did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize