I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
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I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
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just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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