and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
