Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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