Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
