You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
