How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize