I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
