Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
