I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
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This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
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This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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