I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Randomize
