carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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