I hate all girls vehemently.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
