I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize