i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Will exercising make me less horny?
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