That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just gargled with NyQuil
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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