i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My vagina is officially offended.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
