i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
