Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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