I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize