Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
