found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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