We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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