Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
